Autism Families Support and Advocate

I've always questioned ABA therapy and read both sides of this therapeutic method specifically used to address aggression and behaviors in children on the spectrum. It tool my son being on wait-list for at least a year after calling crisis when my son was suddenly very hostile and started refusing school. The combination of isolation from covid and out sync schedule let me to believe he needed this drastic intervention. It turned out my son was being neglected and possibly victim to unwarranted mechanical restraints at school and that was the reason for him attacking me and refusing . We moved and I tried to prove this but the school districts are very powerful entities I found they made sure I did not have time to collect my thoughts and present the evidence in an articulated way. Basically my messy presentation of things, scared and confused while still having to deal with a suddenly very abusive and mean 6 year old forces captive in my home nearly two years from covid and autism combined I was scattered emotional and my texts and screenshots late night emails and doubting my own intuition led my character to be questioned and the risk of taking my case was in the end ruined by my lack of ability to control my emotions and check myself when responding to school police and the school involved . Key point always let them sit and wait until you can present yourself properly, never act on emotion when dealing with such things. Be confident and get a timeline together and be prepared to answer all and any questions when accusing someone of hurting your child because you panic and act of instinct and it will fuck you. After we moved I was surprisingly contacted finally by a BCBA who had us on a wait-list to begin ABA . It was alot and pushed hard everyday except Sundays 4-730 pm I went with it I trusted the facts I was reading and being shoved down my throat and I allowed three woman to tell me how to treat my son in hopes they were there to really help him. I changed the way I was parenting or as they called it babying him I enjoyed the breaks I would get during there sessions even though I was in the home I could take those hours and just breathe at least . After 7 years of doing autism alone with my son I'm exhausted. My son started babbling was showing huge improvements he was going to his new school things were unimaginable . It was working . There are several things now that I've had time to reflect however that always made me feel uncomfortable or that didn't sit well but because of the aggressive Mannar in which the supervising BCbA would tell me I have to allow him to cry or I have to extinguish reactions I followed her recommendations to a t...regardless if I would be crying in my room while listening to my son cry thru entire sessions. Don't get me wrong I would check on him and they would always be near him stating he was mad about them taking tablet . Let me back up, my son's tablet addiction is a real thing that I fucked up on and was the only behavior they were to address in the beginning because the removal of tablet was the trigger for his aggression and meltdowns. About 3 weeks into therapy it was determined the tablet would be used as the reward .....Huge mistake and something I requested be removed from the beginning . I folded because I had three supposed professionals telling me he won't work for anything else and that it was me letting him use it out of session that was the problem. . Think about that ..I state the tablet is the reason I need help because obviously I can't remove it without physical altercations with my 6 year old whose the size of me almost and they reintroduce it because they feel he only respond to there therapy because it's the reward. Right there I should of known and once again used my instinct and voice and said no. Last week I was setting up security monitoring for outside my house . I had one of the cameras in the living room not mounted yet and decided I would watch his sessions after my son's behaviors had restarted including refusal of school and the supervising bcba was making me feel like I could do nothing right I figured I would watch there techniques and learn since I would not be invited into sessions Another flag ..yes I was grateful for the time to be me but I new it was not normal to not be included . I'll get to the point and follow up later when I noticed a attitude change from one of our in home rbt I went back to my room and I kid you not first time ever I turned on the camera and watched 5 min of the session. In that five min I witnessed my son be thrown into our couch and pulled back up being told you want your tablet work for it ..I'm crying as I write this ...I of course went out immediately and it took everything in me to hold my composure .about 10 min is all I had in me until I told this woman I had cameras and just watched what she did . I'm still processing this and will continue needless to say I have ended services with this company and am in shock I allowed my son to be subjected to who knows what for almost three months and for that I'm paralyzed . Articulating what the next move is because I will never ignore my gut again and to my son I'm sorry mommy let you down again no wonder you don't want to leave me .